In the early 1990's I was still a plumber and I was working as a field supervisor for a plumbing company in Richmond California. It was a fairly busy day and so I decided I'd better take some of the calls in the area of the office. One of the dispatchers passed me a phone call because the lady said she had some questions for a plumber. She sounded like an older lady with an Asian accent and a very dignified voice.
"Do you ... repair, um, bathtubs? she said haltingly.
"Yes ma'am" I replied, "What part of the bathtub is giving you trouble?"
"Oh", she said, "Um, well, it's the ... you know, it's the faucet", she answered.
I was starting to get a little concerned about the way she was talking but she didn't seem to be drunk. Her voice was very calm and steady but she acted like she just didn't know what to say or something. I told here I could definitely fix a tub valve and told her if she wanted me to come out I could be there in a half hour. That was OK with her so I got the address and such and then went on over to the appointment.
The house was in a nice suburban neighborhood and the woman who answered the door was, in fact a very dignified elderly Asian lady. She showed me inside and took me to the hall bathroom where she said the faucet in the tub needed new washers. I started right in on it but I noticed that there really didn't seem to be any problem with it.
"Just what seems to be the problem with the faucet, Ma'am?" I asked.
"Well", she said, and then after a pause, "sometimes it drips."
Now I was used to customer's behaving strangely. I had had all kinds. But this faucet was not dripping. I gave her a questioning look and she explained that it only happened occasionally. So I explained to her that if I could get it to drip for me then I would be able to guarantee that I had fixed the problem. She seemed OK with that and asked me to go ahead and fix it anyway.
When I was done with the tub faucet I put away my tools and got my invoice book but she wasn't done yet. At this point her perfectly reserved facial expression cracked just a bit and she hesitantly asked if I also was able to fix clogged toilets. I assured her I was and so she showed me into the master bath where the perfectly clean, not in the least bit clogged looking, master bath toilet was located.
Well the customer is always right, so I went out and got my "closet auger" a tool for unclogging toilets and a plunger. The lady had disappeared so I got started on the "toilet clog". I was a little surprised when the toilet flush seemed a little slow and it didn't flush all the way. It was so clean and the water level was perfect that I just had my doubts about what she was saying. I inserted the closet auger which is like a special snake made just for toilets and almost immediately a small object came sliding backwards out of the toilet trap.
I pulled the snake back out of the toilet and looked more closely. There laying in the bottom of the toilet was what you might describe as a long, thin, cylindrical, battery operated "relaxation" device for women. I simply reached down into the toilet and pulled it out. Now at this point I was somewhat surprised and amused and it dawned on me what all the strange behavior was about.
Now when I'm alone and I get surprised or have a revelation of some kind I imagine that I'm likely to make some kind of noise like a knowing "oh" or a "hmm" or maybe a chuckle or something like that. I have no recollection of whether I made a noise or not. What I do know is that as soon as I straightened up with the "device" in my hand I caught sight of my customer in my peripheral vision. I completely had not heard her come into the room but she was standing not 12 inches behind and a little to my right and I was taken completely by surprise that she was there.
She was not blushing. On her face was the most dignified, confident and serene expression that I have ever seen conjured up under any circumstances. And in her hands, presented in front of her as though offering me a gourmet dessert, was a small stack of perfectly clean, white paper towels like a bed upon which to place an object of great value like a royal tiara or a piece of freshly polished silver. I placed the "device" on the paper towels with what I hoped was an expressionless face and without a word she slowly turned and walked out of the room.
I cleaned up a little and put my tools away and when I came back to the front door with the invoice she politely handed me a check and with a single nod of the head, still wearing that exact same dignified expression, wordlessly closed the door. I could not help but sympathize with the poor woman. How could there be any idle talk about the bill after that? That would normally be the time when I would explain to my customer what was guaranteed and what was not and I could give them advice on how to avoid the same problem in the future. None of that was appropriate in this case.
I just took the check and marveled to myself at this lady's amazing self control. Her face never cracked from that perfectly dignified expression. It was a beautiful thing.
bill June 05, 2007, at 02:32 PM CST
