Ok so far I only have this one really important question.
I was on my way to work one day and I got to thinking about windshield washers.
You know they squirt or spray liquid on your windshield and turn your wipers on for three wipes and clean your windshield.
I noticed that somebody in front of me on the freeway used theirs and it got on my windshield and so I had to use my windshield washer because theirs had made big mudspots on my windshield. I think I might have even gotten some of my windshield washer fluid on the windshield of the car behind me. I decided to call this phenomenon a Windshield Washer Chain Reaction. So then I got to wondering what was the longest windshield washer chain reaction in the history of the world.
I mean maybe one got started going one direction on the freeway and then went off onto a side road or split into multiple chain reactions going off in different directions and conceivably could have affected thousands of cars. What if this happened every day. Shouldn't we be concerned that it could cause a water shortage or something.
I told my friends at work about it and they shared my concern, they always humor me like that, and one of them mentioned that it could also result in an increase in road rage like if somebody was out of fluid or something. You can laugh all you want but within one week of that conversation I heard a related story on the news and actually witnessed a very disturbing incident on the freeway.
There was a news story about somebody somewhere in the country that used their windshield washer and the person behind them actually got really angry and chased them and they ended up in a collision.
If that weren't already enough I then personally witnessed a scene played out on the freeway right in front of me. In the car two places in front of me the person used their windshield washer and the taxi driver in front of me in the lane to my right must have gotten mudspots on his windshield because he suddenly turned on his wipers. Then to my horror he sped up and careened in front of the guy who had used his washer in front of him. As I watched aghast, the taxi driver then proceeded to wash his own windshield right in front of the first guy. That taxi had a really impressive squirt too. I think some of it even got on my car.
I immediately recognized the danger of the situation and refrained from responding in kind to the guy in the taxi. I might have been out of fluid anyway at the time so I would have been unarmed. I did, however, quickly slow down and pull into another lane because, just as I suspected, the guy in front of me immediately washed his windshield too.
This problem is obviously out of control. Who is going to protect us? Shouldn't the government put limits on the strength of those washer nozzles? shouldn't they prohibit the use of washers on the freeway or maybe even any time the car is moving? Maybe they should have a special signal, like a turn signal and you would be required to signal before washing so the person behind you had time to react and avoid the spray.
I looked online for information about the dangers of high speed windshield washer usage and the only thing I could find was this quote from the official Alabama State Drivers Manual. "On extremely cold days, be cautious about using windshield washer and wipers at high speeds. Even if the fluid contains antifreeze, high speed combined with extreme cold can freeze the solution on the windshield and totally obscure your vision." Yeah, you and everybody for a half mile behind you!
What is wrong with everyone? How can something so obviously dangerous be completely invisible to the government. Why isn't anyone doing anything about this? You know what I think? I bet there's a powerful windshield washer manufacturers lobby in Washington DC. Maybe one of our most powerful congressional leaders is related to someone in the windshield washer business. Maybe the antifreeze in those jugs is a product of some third world country that gives massive campaign donations to the president. I can see that it's no use waiting for politicians to fix the problem. This is going to have to be a grass roots effort.
Send me money now to get this movement started. With the first donation, I'll set up a special web site to help coordinate the efforts of all the volunteers. We can have a bumper sticker slogan campaign. You know with slogans like, "Friends don't let friends wash their windshields," and "My other car doesn't have a windshield washer" and "Honk if you don't wash your windshield." The people who come up with the best bumper sticker slogans can get their names on the website.
If I get enough donations I could quit my job and start working on getting a government grant to study the great "Windshield Washer Chain Reaction" problem. Maybe some day we could even answer the most disturbing question of all. What is the longest windshield washer chain reaction in the history of the world?
bill February 01, 2007, at 08:24 PM CST
